"I've spent more time playing golf than anything else the last 18 years. Just wanted to be an 80s-shooter. Got there, too."
Golf quotes
Golf
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Golf quotes (page 8 of 110)
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"Look within, for within is the wellspring of virtue, which will not cease flowing, if you cease not from digging."
"A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses."
"Golf is a diabolical game. It's easy to make fun of something that's so bizarre, so painful, so humiliating... yet so joyous."
"For me, 'choking' is just another term in golf."
"I played so bad, I got a get-well card from the IRS."
"I won't have any competitive instincts in any sports, other than golf. I can't see being competitive in sports any more."
"I owe everything to golf. Where else could a guy with an IQ like mine make this much money?"
"When I'm not paralytic, I like to play golf."
"I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on the scorecard."
"Golf isn't just about hitting a lot of drivers. I grew up playing on my front lawn, chipping and putting into soup cans, out of the ivy and over rose bushes and hedges - the little Alcott Golf and Country Club. I just loved having a wedge in my hands."
"If you hit a hole in one every hole, you wouldn’t play golf for very long."
"Uh, yeah, I do. The scythe was a little tricky at first, but—much like golf—turns out it’s all in the swing."
"Most of the exercise I get is from standing and walking around laboratory tables all day. I derive more benefit and entertainment from this than some of my friends and competitors get from playing games like golf."
"Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies."
"We like to hunt and golf and drive around lost, and scratch and spit, and a whole lot of other disgusting stuff."
"I thrive on the adrenaline of excitement and danger. I just cannot stand boredom on the other side of it. Why am I a person who loves guns? I have no idea. Why do I like to go hunting? I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me. Why does somebody love golf, because that doesn't make sense to me either."
"His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons."
"It's just to let the other one know it can be replaced."
"Don't wish for less problems; wish for more skills."