"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
"Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy."
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Source: Groucho Marx (2007). “The Groucho Letters: Letters from and to Groucho Marx”, p.133, Simon and Schuster
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