"I used to get nervous about three weeks before a gig... now I've managed to condense it down to a manageable ten minutes."
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Quote collection
Jo Brand quotes (page 8 of 10)
193 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I thought I was funny as a kid."
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"I think the key attributes for a good speaker are someone that's articulate and someone that puts a fair amount of humour into what they do."
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"I look like Julian Clary on steroids."
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"One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug."
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"I don't know if we will ever try again because those sort of things are very hard to organise but yes, I've known Doon for years and John as well but I hadn't met Will before, and he turned out to be a good laugh."
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"I think it's so easy when you have children just to turn your focus inward on your family and because, when they're young, you don't sleep very much, you're walking around like a zombie most of the time anyway. It's a really important part of my life to have good friends, you have to work quite hard to keep the relationships going but it's worth it."
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"I tried to eat better too, but when you're on tour you literally just eat some hideous pork pie on the motorway on the way to a show. It's a really unhealthy lifestyle: you're up late, drinking loads of coffee to stay awake, drinking loads of alcohol because you're socialising with people."
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"There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do."
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"I think a lot of women are incredibly tough and they're just really admirable. Especially the way that, given what they've got, they just manage to carry on."
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"Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them."
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"It wasn't a conscious effort to have kids later. It was just the way life goes."
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"Suffice to say, many women find their first appearance on a comedy panel show to be their last. Second chances seem to be given less often to the female of the species."
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"When you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine."
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"People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation; everything is made up."
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"I think I'd concentrate on young women - particularly girls at school - and I would try and build into school curriculums much more education about relationships and how girls (and boys) can handle them: stuff about consent and that sort of thing."
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"Not many women will go out on a limb to make themselves really unattractive and unfeminine so you can get the laughs, but it's a great thing to do in my book."
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"My personal opinion is that you can't be racist towards white people. You can be prejudiced about them, but being prejudiced isn't an illegal act, whereas being racist can be."
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"My mum is bright, ambitious, well read, political and very bolshie: when my dad was conscripted into the Army and posted to Libya, she convinced some general to let her go with him. I don't know how she managed it."
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"My father was an engineer and my mother was a social worker, and they met as young socialists. That probably tells you everything you need to know about my attitude to money - I've never really been bothered about it."
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