"I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did."
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Terry Pratchett quotes (page 16 of 72)
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"But here's some advice, boy. Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions."
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"And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things."
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"One person is nothing. Two people are a nation."
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"Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine."
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"They say that the eyes of some paintings can follow you around the room, a fact that I doubt, but I am wondering whether some music can follow you for ever."
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"People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library."
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"At least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe."
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"It doesn't matter how you live and die, it's how the bards wrote it down."
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"People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked."
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"There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write."
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"When in doubt, choose to live."
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"The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues."
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"Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal.... The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it."
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"When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend."
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"Particles of raw inspiration sleet through the universe all the time. Every once in a while one of them hits a receptive mind, which then invents DNA or the flute sonata form or a way of making light bulbs wear out in half the time. But most of them miss. Most people go through their lives without being hit by even one."
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"Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten."
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"Incidentally, it's best not to argue with the nursing staff. I find the best course of action is to throw some chocolates in one direction and hurry off in the other while their attention is distracted."
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"A witch who is bored might do ANYTHING. People said things like 'we had to make our own amusements in those days' as if this signified some kind of moral worth, and perhaps it did, but the last thing you wanted a witch to do was get bored and start making her own amusements, because witches sometimes had famously erratic ideas about what was amusing."
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"People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."
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