Quote collection
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"Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get."
"Time was something that largely happened to other people; he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle."
"You can't second-guess ineffability, I always say."
"I think you should be proud of not being worse than just deeply introverted and socially maladjusted."
"If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter."
"...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense."
"And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn't measure up."
"And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions."
"I grow as many of our vegetables as I can, because my granddad was a professional gardener, and it's in the blood."
"People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it."
"Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape."
"People who used magic without knowing what they were doing usually came to a sticky end. All over the entire room, sometimes."
"It's still magic even if you know how it's done."
"Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?"
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point MY POINT EXACTLY."
"It looked the sort of book described in library catalogues as 'slightly foxed,' although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well."
"No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles]."
"Some people are confident because they are fools. Leonard had the look of someone who was confident because, so far, he'd never found a reason not to be."
"We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience"
"Jeremy tried to be an interesting person. The trouble was that he was the kind of person who, having decided to be an interesting person, would first of all try to find a book called How to Be An Interesting Person and then see whether there were any courses available."