"A good banana daiquiri is hard to come by. I've only ever found one place in this country that makes a proper one, and that's in Leeds."
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Terry Pratchett quotes (page 35 of 72)
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"Banana daiquiris aren't knock-'em-back-by-the-flagon."
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"The point is that if a book that had been published three years ago started to sell twice as many all of a sudden it probably wouldn't even get noticed. People wouldn't be tracking it. The system has cleaned up its act an awful lot but the best-seller list system is not an entirely foolproof thing."
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"I know loads of coppers and dealt with them a lot when I was a journalist - coppers are easy to write for; they tend to run on rails."
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"I try to make computers say things like You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance."
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"My name is unpronounceable in your tongue, woman,” it said. “I’ll be the judge of that,” warned Granny, and added, “Don’t call me woman.” “Very well. My name is WxrtHltl-jwlpklz,” said the demon smugly."
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"If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged."
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"Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it."
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"Most of my schooldays were the worst day of my life."
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"If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands."
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"Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend."
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"This looks like a job for inadvisably applied magic if ever I saw one."
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"Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl."
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""Out of Print" is bookseller speak for "We can't be hedgehogged"."
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"Granny Weatherwax was not lost. She wasn't the kind of person who ever became lost. It was just that, at the moment, while she knew exactly where SHE was, she didn't know the position of anywhere else."
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"Happiness is not the natural state of mankind, and is never achieved from the outside in."
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"It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence."
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"I hate cats." Death's face became a little stiffer, if that were possible. The blue glow in his eye sockets flickered red for an instant. "I SEE," he said. The tone suggested that death was too good for cat haters."
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"If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize."
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"I have no use for people who have learned the limits of the possible."
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