"It is a mistake trying to cheer up camels. You may as well drop meringues into a black hole."
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Quote collection
Terry Pratchett quotes (page 54 of 72)
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"The thing with crowns is, it isn't the putting them on that's the problem, it's the taking them off."
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"Anger is wonderful. It keeps you going. I'm angry about bankers. About the government."
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"I read the 'Old Testament' all the way through when I was about 13 and was horrified. A few months afterwards I read 'The Origin Of Species', hallucinating very mildly because I was in bed with flu at the time. Despite that, or because of that, it all made perfect sense."
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"There is a soak-the-rich attitude in the air, a feeling that if you have a lot of money you must have got it by some ghastly means. I can quite happily say there was never any family money. All the money we got was mine, just from writing books."
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"Often I sort of work up and down the manuscript. I sometimes used to go ahead of myself to see what was going to happen next, to make certain it fits what was going to be happening soon."
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"It takes forty men with their feet on the ground to keep one man with his head in the air."
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"Classically, very few people have considered that cleanliness is next to godliness. A rank loincloth and hair in an advanced state of matted entanglement have generally been the badges of office of prophets whose injunction to disdain earthly things starts with soap."
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"The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day."
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"People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but prefer dinner to turn up inside an hour."
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"... when your name is really and truly Percy Blakeney, pronounced 'Black-knee', and you still have bad acne in your twenties, you accept Pimple as a nickname and are grateful that it wasn't anything worse."
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"A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And sex too, of course."
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"As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies."
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"Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real."
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"Remember - that which does not kill us can only make us stronger. And that which does kill us leaves us dead!"
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"Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs."
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"His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation."
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"They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up, which was how Lady Ramkin would almost certainly have put it and which was definitely several letters of the alphabet away from how they normally felt."
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"DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT."
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"It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere."
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