"A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't."
"All medical procedures require two hands, so in a sense it's like when you play an instrument. That's what they call things that they use in their work: They call them instruments. A lot of people start out majoring in medicine and drop it and change their major to music."
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More quotes by Tom Waits
"Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing."
"We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns."
"when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans"
"I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy."
"The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!"