Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks

Comedian, Writer

Bill Hicks was a provocative comedian known for his incisive commentary on society, politics, and the human condition, particularly through his stand-up performances.

Funny Thinking Humor People Believe America
Born
December 16, 1961
Died
February 26, 1994
Quotes
265
Rank
#403

Quote collection

Bill Hicks quotes (page 5 of 14)

265 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.

Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain on drugs", "Just Say No", "Why do you think they call it dope?" … And then the next commercial is [singing] "This Bud's for yooouuuu." C'mon, everybody, let's be hypocritical bastards. It's okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you."

Hate War Dope
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you."

Funny Humor Drug
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas."

Land Ideas America
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah... it's just not enough is it?"

Dream Fall Men
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely."

Religious Years Freedom Of Speech
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth."

Dad Believe People
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens."

Nuts Plot Keith
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club."

Men Thinking Light
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?...No, it's not...That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve."

Flags Want Helping
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!"

Stars Party Rocks
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?"

Life Changing Drinking Night
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"They tell us "Rock'n'roll is the devil's music." Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure ... At least he f-kin' jams! If it's a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin' Block ... I'm gonna be surfin' on the lake of fire, rockin' out."

Block Kids Fire
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm... Sounds like... every commercial on television, doesn't it? You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I'm not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that's the connection they're trying to make."

Thinking Two Trying
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'."

Artist Perception Western Culture
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool."

Vegas Guy Strikes
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren't partyin'."

Men Tunes Ringo
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?"

Kings Giving Mind
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left."

Children Believe People
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Bill Hicks Comedian, Writer
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"The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally."

Voice Benefits Reason
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