"I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!"
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Quote collection
Dave Chappelle quotes (page 2 of 7)
121 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"My father told me 'Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.'"
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"Constantly take inventory of what's important to you."
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"You know you must be doing something right if old people like you."
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"I have angst in my life, but I'm like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives."
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"I don't really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that's not ballin' to me."
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"Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go."
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"I'm cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally."
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"Most people don't know what it's like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It's not like I'm doing heavy lifting up there. It's not like I'm solving the world's problems. It's like I'm hanging out with a bunch of people and it's cool."
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"My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian, what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else."
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"I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed."
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"Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it."
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"I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes."
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"You can't get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can't get unfamous."
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"Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue."
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"Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that."
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"I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave."
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"There's not too many people that don't think I'm crazy, for walking away from so much money. I'm at a restaurant with my wife, it's a nice restaurant, we're eating dinner. I look across the room, I say, 'You see this guy over here, across the room? He has $100 million.' And we're eating the same entree. So, OK, fine, I don't have $50 million or whatever it was, but say I have $10 million in the bank. The difference in lifestyle is miniscule."
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"All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high."
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"When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself."
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