"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
About the author
Dennis Miller
Comedian
Dennis Miller is a comedian and political commentator known for his sharp wit and insightful critiques of society and culture.
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Dennis Miller
Comedian
"Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese."
Dennis Miller
Comedian
"We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head."
Dennis Miller
Comedian
"The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse."
Dennis Miller
Comedian
"You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven."
Dennis Miller
Comedian
"Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program."