"Never place a period where God has placed a comma."
"All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share."
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Source: How to Become President. Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.
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"We favor putting Congress on a commission basis. Pay them for results. If they do a good job and the country prospers, they get 10% of the extra take."
"This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances."
"A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman."
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them."
"They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it."