"Never place a period where God has placed a comma."
"When you learn to make everybody happy, you will possess the golden secret of how to milk the contented voters. But do it in such a way that they won't think you want them to vote for you just because you need the money. They need the money, and besides, they can think up other reasons if they try."
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Source: How to Become President. Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.
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"We favor putting Congress on a commission basis. Pay them for results. If they do a good job and the country prospers, they get 10% of the extra take."
"This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances."
"A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman."
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them."
"They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it."