"Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too."
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Quote collection
Johnny Carson quotes (page 7 of 8)
142 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me."
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"There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King."
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"It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups."
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"There's a lot of hypocrisy in audiences. I'd never dream of telling even on a nightclub stage, let alone my show, some of the jokes that are told in a lot of the living rooms from which we get those letters!"
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"People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'"
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"I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you."
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"I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else."
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"I can't say I ever wanted to become an entertainer. I already was one, sort of-around the house, at school, doing my magic tricks, throwing my voice and doing Popeye impersonations. People thought I was funny; so I kind of took entertaining for granted It was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances."
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"Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair."
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"The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds."
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"The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year."
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"Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out."
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"I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time."
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"Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages."
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"I'm an entertainer; I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony."
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"I play my life straight - the way I see it. I'm grateful to audiences for watching me and for enjoying what I do - but I'm not one of those who believe that a successful entertainer is made by the public, as is so often said."
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"Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!!"
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"I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it."
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"That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman."
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