Quote collection
978 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"The waitress brought me another drink. She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn't let her. "Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?" she asked me. "The big show is inside my head," I said."
"Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way."
"Time is liquid. One moment is no more important than any other and all moments quickly run away."
"People took such awful chances with chemicals and their bodies because they wanted the quality of their lives to improve. They lived in ugly places where there were only ugly things to do. They didn't own doodley-squat, so they couldn't improve their surroundings. so they did their best to make their insides beautiful instead."
"There are plenty of good reasons for fighting...but no good reason to ever hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty hates with you, too. Where's evil? It's that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side. It's that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive....it's that part of an imbecile that punishes and vilifies and makes war gladly."
"You'll forget it when you're dead, and so will I. When I'm dead, I'm going to forget everything–and I advise you to do the same."
"There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, I said, but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too."
"I'm a doctor of cowshit, pigshit, and chickenshit.....when you doctors figure out what you want, you'll find me out in the barn shoveling my thesis."
"Men are jerks. Women are psychotic."
"Somebody gets into trouble, then gets out of it again. People love that story. They never get tired of it."
"Indianapolis, Indiana is the first place in the United States of America where a white man was hanged for the murder of an Indian. The kind of people who'll hang a white man for murdering an Indian--that's the kind of people for me."
"The most damning revelation you can make about yourself is that you do not know what is interesting and what is not."
"A sane person to an insane society must appear insane."
"How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
""Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.""
"Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information."
"Beer, of course, is actually a depressant, but poor people will never stop hoping otherwise."
"I would have been dead if it weren't for that great gift to civilization from the Chemistry Department of Harvard, which was napalm, or sticky jellied gasoline."
"The secret to success in any human endeavor is total concentration."
"And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction."