"It's the refuge for the mentally deficient. It's made by dull people for dull people."
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Memorable quotes
Memorable
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Memorable quotes (page 21 of 53)
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"I see myself rather like an old discarded dishrag."
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"I just feel that when all is said and done, I am not insane."
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"Denmark is sadly a hellish place if you happen to be a pig, but the brioche and fruits that tower on the table before me have me hastily attaching a feedbag."
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"Sometimes I wish I was just a simple drunkard."
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"I've gone through managers like people go through shredded wheat. Nobody looks after you."
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"When they bury me in a church and chuck earth on my grave, I'd like the words 'Well, at least he tried' engraved on my tombstone."
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"The phenomenal thing that happened to me is that I was able to create two memorable men: one is the ultimate optimist, Rocky, and then you have Rambo, the ultimate pessimist. You're going to always be remembered for them, no matter what you do."
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"Doing nothing gives me great pleasure. And believe me, I succeed wonderfully in it."
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"He [Elton John] is pushing his face in all the time and telling us about his private life. Nobody's interested. He should just go away."
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"Nothing is important, so people, realising that, should get on with their lives, go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race around the supermarket and steal Mars bars and kiss kittens."
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"I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke."
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"If met Vic Reeves, I'd have no desire other than to smack him in the face."
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"In England, pop music seems now to be exclusively for children. If an artist is no good, why is it necessary to have that artist repeatedly rammed in our face?"
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"[Sigmund Freud] just made people feel so neurotic about their lives. I mean, if you dreamt about a lampshade, it meant you wanted to be whipped by the local vicar or something."
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"I've always assumed there's a dark river flowing beneath my fans' desires."
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"Yes I have had a tan, actually. I went to Los Angeles and got one there, but it didn't make it back to Britain. You're not allowed to come through customs with a tan."
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"I'm just happy being dumpy. Dumpy, fat and middle-aged."
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"With people in the world such as 'Jamie Oliver' and [TV chef] Clarissa Dickson-Wright there isn't much hope for animals."
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"They are very tame to me. God bless Noel, I'm sure he'll always have a spot on 'Bob's Full House', but I search for something with more bite and rage."
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