"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife."
"Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf."
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More quotes by Prince Philip
"If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels."
"During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual."
"Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation."
"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"
"People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans."