"I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden."
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Quote collection
Steve Martin quotes (page 4 of 17)
339 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither."
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"I'm not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price."
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"There's no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you."
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"My most persistent memory of stand - up is of my mouth being in the present and my mind being in the future: the mouth speaking the line, the body delivering the gesture, while the mind looks back, observing, analyzing, judging, worrying, and then deciding when and what to say next. Enjoyment while performing was rare - enjoyment would have been an indulgent loss of focus that comedy cannot afford."
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"What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do."
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"An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be."
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"She tried to get even with him through psychological warfare but couldn't, because he didn't care."
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"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."
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"Anyone who's ever worked with Meryl Streep always says the same thing: can that woman act! And what's with all the Hitler memorabilia?"
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"How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars"
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"You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, "Steve, how can you be so fucking funny?" There's a secret to it, it's no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I'm on stage, I feel funny."
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"There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that."
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"I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day."
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"When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane."
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"I take editing seriously. It's a joy to edit. I always hand a manuscript to several editors and can't wait to get back their notes and see what they've said. I don't criticize myself for making blunders here and there, because it's just natural. You write in chunks, and you may not remember that that sentence you wrote yesterday had the same word repeated three times. I do enjoy that. I love the feeling of repairing. Repairing is really nice."
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"You know when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!"
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"introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness"
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"I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."
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"Always do business as if the person you're doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he's not, you can be pleasantly surprised."
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