"The Apple Pie Hubbub was a significant novel for me, because that's when I first started using verbs."
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Quote collection
Steve Martin quotes (page 5 of 17)
339 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair."
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"I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is."
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"I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic."
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"You have to get comfortable [with your work], you really have to know what you're doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well."
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"...it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart."
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"I cringe at backstory. Because it never quite explains or gets into some psychological thing that is never quite right and never quite the truth and who knows why someone is someway."
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"A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true."
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"So she viewed time spent in the land of the normal as an investigation into the world of marriage-worthy men, even if she was unsure about her own interest in marriage. There must be one solid citizen who also had a spark of life, a sense of humor and adventure."
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"I can't smell moth balls, I find it too difficult to get their tiny legs apart"
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"I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly."
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"I'm for the Wall Street Occupiers. But will they accept me when they find out I sell packaged mortgage default instruments to children?"
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"I like what a third man brings. A kind of oblique vision, seeing something in the material that you didn't know was there. As a comedian, I'm always listening to the audience. And in movies, sometimes the only audience you have is the producer and the director. I like having someone else's opinion, especially if you're on the same wavelength."
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"The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer. And the joy of writing, when you're writing from your subconscious, is beautiful - it's thrilling. When you're editing, which is your conscious mind, it's like torture."
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"It's not what you know, it's what you think you know."
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"I will do anything to look like him - except, of course, exercise or eat right."
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"Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true."
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"But Carroll's were more convoluted, and they struck me as funny in a new way: 1) Babies are illogical. 2) Nobody is despised who can manage a crocodile. 3) Illogical persons are despised. Therefore, babies cannot manage crocodiles. And: 1) No interesting poems are unpopular among people of real taste. 2) No modern poetry is free from affectation. 3) All of your poems are on the subject of soap bubbles. 4) No affected poetry is popular among people of taste. 5) Only a modern poem would be on the subject of soap bubbles. Therefore, all your poems are uninteresting."
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"I like all kinds of music. I listen to Abigail Washburn, the Punch Brothers, and Marc Johnson, the great clawhammer player. I also listen a lot to Sirius Radio, there's a lot of bluegrass there."
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"Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment."
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