Quote collection
1.4K quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce."
"Let grammar, punctuation, and spelling into your life! Even the most energetic and wonderful mess has to be turned into sentences."
"The Library didn't only contain magical books, the ones which are chained to their shelves and are very dangerous. It also contained perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren't also dangerous, just because reading them didn't make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangeous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the reader's brain."
"Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self."
"The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football."
"Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them."
"I read the best works of some of the best satirists, and indeed best writers from the beginning of the Victorian era to about the 1960s. If you want to be a blacksmith, you go and watch the blacksmith working, and you work out what the blacksmith does."
"Reality is not digital, an on-off state, but analog. Something gradual. In other words, reality is a quality that things possess in the same way that they possess, say, weight. Some people are more real than others, for example. It has been estimated that there are only about five hundred real people on any given planet, which is why they keep unexpectedly running into one another all the time."
"Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up."
"She'd stopped reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about romance and knitting and started reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about orgasms, but apart from making a mental note to have one if ever the occasion presented itsel"
"And we don't often get any wading birds in the River Ankh, mainly because the pollution would eat their legs away and anyway, it's easier for them to walk on the surface."
"No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect."
"Two types of people laugh at the law: those that break it and those that make it."
"Progress just means bad things happen faster."
"The harder I work, the luckier I become."
"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember."
"You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation was, ‘But we’ve always done it this way.’ A million dead people can’t have been wrong, can they?"
"I’m a witch. It’s what we do. When it’s nobody else’s business, it’s my business."
"Everything makes sense a bit at a time. But when you try to think of it all at once, it comes out wrong."
"Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman."