"Drinks like this tend to get called Traffic Lights or Rainbow's Revenge or, in places where truth is more highly valued, Hello and Good-Bye, Mr. Brain Cell."
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Quote collection
Terry Pratchett quotes (page 39 of 72)
1.4K quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Don't look back!" "Why not?" "Because I just did! Run faster!"
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"And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That's oppression, that is. If I'm not under the heel of the oppressor, I don't know who is."
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"It was also a room full of books and made of books. There was no actual furniture; this is to say, the desk and chairs were shaped out of books. It looked as though many of them were frequently referred to, because they lay open with other books used as bookmarks."
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"They obeyed, as wise men do when a woman puts her foot down . . ."
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"A push-and-go wooden duck on wheels can cause quite a lot of damage if wielded with enough force."
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"In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?"
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"WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAVED HIM? "Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?" NO "Oh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that. It's an astronomical fact." THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN. ... "Really? Then what would have happened, pray?" A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD."
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"Tiffany has been apprenticing as a witch by visiting people in need with her mentor. After meeting with one particularly sad case, she tells her mentor, "It shouldn't be like this." Her mentor replies, "There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do."
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"Go anywhere you wish, talk to everyone. Ask any questions; you will be given answers. When you want to learn, you will be taught. Use the library. Open any book."
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"The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things."
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"People needed to believe in gods, if only because it was so hard to believe in people."
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"Never f*!k with the ineffable."
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"Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. Men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things - unnecessary intelligence, names, a desire to belong, and a twitching inferiority complex. All dogs dream wolf dreams, and know they're dreaming of biting their Maker. Every dog knows, deep in his heart, that he is a Bad Dog."
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"And he dreamed the dream of all those who publish books, which was to have so much gold in your pockets that you would have to employ two people just to hold your trousers up."
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"These weren't cheap modern books; these were books bound in leather, and not just leather, but leather from clever cows who had given their lives for literature after a happy existence in the very best pastures."
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"After all, when you seek advice from someone it's certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself."
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"Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze."
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"When people say "clearly" something that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all."
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"Please give us a simple answer, so that we don't have to think, because if we think, we might find answers that don't fit the way we want the world to be"
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