"Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you."
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Terry Pratchett quotes (page 5 of 72)
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"Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo."
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"This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic."
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"Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage."
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"A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost."
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"They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance."
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"People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around."
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"Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed."
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"And when the Patrician was unhappy, he became very democratic. He found intricate and painful ways of spreading that unhappiness as far as possible."
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"You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look."
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"The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done."
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"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer?"
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"Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had butchered five hundred of your own men out of arrogant carelessness, we'd be melting the bronze already."
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"The days followed one another patiently. Right back at the beginning of the multiverse they had tried all passing at the same time, and it hadn't worked."
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"Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it."
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"escapism isn't good or bad in itself. what is important is what you are escaping from and where you are escaping to."
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"You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away."
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""I'm sorry, I just got carried away," hissed Aziraphale."
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"There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can’t, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having."
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"A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores."
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