"It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free."
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Terry Pratchett quotes (page 3 of 72)
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"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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"Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad."
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"Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]"
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"All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed."
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"Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show."
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"Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid."
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"Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck."
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"What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter."
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"Down there - he said - are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any inequity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no."
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"There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
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"I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course."
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"And these are your reasons, my lord?" "Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetinari. "My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent." Hughnon reflected that 'entirely transparent' meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn't see them at all."
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"The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one."
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"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE."
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"Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote."
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"Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war."
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"And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."
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"In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this."
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"No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away."
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