"When they're standing right in front of you, kings are a kind of speech impediment."
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Quote collection
Terry Pratchett quotes (page 60 of 72)
1.4K quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, "What happens if I do this?""
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"What do you call those things at the bottom of rivers? Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful gangsters?"
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"Animals never spend time dividing experience into little bits and speculating about all the bits they've missed. The whole panoply of the universe has been neatly expressed to them as things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks."
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"I dare say that quite a few people have contemplated death for reasons that much later seemed to them to be quite minor."
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"Belief was never mentioned at home, but right actions were taught by daily example."
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"A true beanie should have a propellor on the top."
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"I would like to die peacefully with Thomas Tallis on my iPod before the disease takes me over and I hope that will not be for quite some time to come, because if I knew that I could die at any time I wanted, then suddenly every day would be as precious as a million pounds, if I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice."
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"History tends to change people who think they're changing it."
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"I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins."
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"Fascism may be good at making the trains run on time, but you wouldn't like some of the destinations."
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"Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel? To my juvenile eyes, Darwin was proved true every day. It doesn't take much to make us flip back into monkeys again."
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"No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched."
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"The thing about secrets is that they are usually best kept by just one person. That was the special thing about secrets. Some people seemed to think that the best way to keep a secret was to tell as many people as possible; what could possibly go wrong for a secret when there were so many people defending it?"
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"Quit while you're a head, that's what I say."
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"You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that."
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"I'm fairy godmothering a girl who sounds like something you put up in the rain."
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"I thought jet planes were just trucks with more wings and less wheels."
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"The labyrinth of Ephebe is ancient and full of one hundred and one amazing things you can do with hidden springs, razor-sharp knives, and falling rocks."
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"It's a god-eat-god world."
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