"I stroll along, talk, I sign books, people buy me drinks, I forget where my hotel is, I get lost and fall into some local body of water... done it hundreds of times."
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Quote collection
Terry Pratchett quotes (page 61 of 72)
1.4K quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"One day I'll be dead and THEN you'll all be sorry."
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"There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts."
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"You will have to look a long way before you find a bunch of scum-suckers more greedy, humourless and deserving of death than the suits in the music business."
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"Up until now I'd always though RSI meant 'I hate my damn job'."
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"Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often students, for heaven's sake."
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"I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle."
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"I'm referred to, I see, as 'the biggest banker in modern publishing'. Now there's a line that needed the celebrated Guardian proof-reading."
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"I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say "it was god's will" when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow."
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"There's no point in killing an opponent... There's no triumph over a corpse, but a beaten opponent, who will remain beaten every day of the remainder of their sad and wretched life, is something to treasure."
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"When you stand between two mirrors you're spread out among the images, your whole soul is pulled out thin, and somewhere in the distant images a dark part of you might get out and come looking for you, if you aren't careful."
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"Magic is just a way of saying 'I don't know.'"
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"Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment."
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"It's hard to be famous and alive."
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"Everybody thinks the Government should be doing more about everything but just think how many of the bonuses which are quite rightly being dragged off certain people, just think to what good causes they could be put - wouldn't that be a lovely thought'?"
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"Making money isn't something to be ashamed of. There's a feeling now that if you have money you must have got it by some kind of shady dealing or being an MP."
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"If my father could have sat up in bed and said goodbye, I'd have pressed the button. I wouldn't have been able to see for crying, but I would have considered that a duty."
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"Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine - once. Like the Borg, they learn."
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"Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother."
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"Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs."
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