"History has a habit of changing the people who think they are changing it"
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Terry Pratchett quotes (page 59 of 72)
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"She was, in fact, quite a pleasant looking girl, even if her bosom had clearly been intended for a girl two feet taller; but she was not Her. The Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage would have corrected this to "she was not she," which would have caused the Professor of Logic to spit out his drink."
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"A Duke couldn't have the arse hanging out of his trousers when meeting foreign diplomats. Actually even plain old Sam Vimes never had the arse hanging out of his trousers, either, but no one would have actually started a war if he had."
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"Some of them wanted to sell me snake oil and I'm not necessarily going to dismiss all of these, as I have never found a rusty snake."
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"The students were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species 'female' but have never expected to get this close to one."
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"Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them."
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"Got to be worth a try, I suppose," said Crowley. "It's not as if I haven't got lots of other work to do, God knows." His forehead creased for a moment, and then he slapped the steering wheel triumphantly. "Ducks!" he shouted. "What?" "That's what water slides off!" Aziraphale took a deep breath. "Just drive the car, please," he said wearily."
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"I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf, And me an' my friends can walk towards you with our hats on backwards in a menacing way, Yo!"
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"Are you a philosopher? Where's your sponge?"
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"Aliens don't get stuck in air ducts. It's practically a well-known fact."
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"The singers all loathe the sight of one another, the chorus despises the singers, they both hate the orchestra, and everyone fears the conductor; the staff on one prompt side won't talk to the staff on the opposite prompt side, the dancers are all crazed from hunger in any case."
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"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards because a refusal often offends, I read somewhere."
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"The kind of accidents you prefer to call...accidents."
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"You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that's going on in the world: you need to. If you get this right, then the writing is a piece of cake."
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"Sometimes the only thing you could do for people was to be there."
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"Science fiction is fantasy with bolts painted on outside."
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"Just because you've got a mind like a hammer doesn't mean you have to treat everyone else like a nail"
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"Anyway, just because you're sworn enemies doesn't mean you can't be friends, does it?"
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"I wish that the people who sing about the deeds of heroes would think about the people who have to clear up after them."
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"By the time you've reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that is at least the beginning of wisdom."
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