"Some people think about sex all the time; some people think of sex some of the time; and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers."
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Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 29 of 41)
818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?"
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"I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian."
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"Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires."
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"Visually I've always liked the 20s 30s for film. I do these because I like the music. I like the clothes. I like the way the women and the guys look. There are soldiers and sailors and gangsters with the machine guns in their violin cases. It's a very colorful era of New York, full of great theater and great nightclubs and great jazz."
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"My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars."
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"... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!"
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"Humorists always sit at the children's table."
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"Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling."
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"I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons."
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"Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka."
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"I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly."
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"It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography."
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"I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon."
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"Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away."
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"I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight."
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"New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome."
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"In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic."
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"I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them."
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"I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again."
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