"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss."
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Source: Annie Hall (motion picture) (1977). Cowritten with Marshall Brickman. This joke appeared in a monologue recorded live in August 1968 and released on The Third Woody Allen Album.
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