"If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment."
"We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock."
42 likes
About the author
Same author
More quotes by Dave Allen
"Goodnight, thank you, and may your God go with you."
"A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way."
"My church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, twenties."
"Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers."
"How could I have not known about Ume? An Austin trio fronted by a whirling dervish of singer guitarist who in the standard PR band head shot looks like she wouldn't hurt a fly; yet give her a guitar, a Marshall stack and a mic and stand back, way back. She shreds. File under - Do Not Overlook and Go Tell Your Friends"