"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
"I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave."
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Source: Dennis Miller (2010). “Rants”, p.105, Main Street Books
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