"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
"Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber."
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Source: Dennis Miller (2011). “Ranting Again”, p.14, Main Street Books
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"The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt."
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"We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head."
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