"The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink."
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Quote collection
Dorothy Parker quotes (page 11 of 16)
316 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"And I'll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds."
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"A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts."
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"If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much; But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn."
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"If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it."
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"I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for."
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"It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day."
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"[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are."
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"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song"
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"Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that."
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"Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed— I think they would be better dead."
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"It takes me six months to do a story. I think it out and then write it sentence by sentence - no first draft. I can't write five words but that I change seven."
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"This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many."
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"Work is the province of cattle."
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"Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey; The horse doth with the horseman away."
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"Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell."
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"Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn, the word "sophisticate" means, very simply, "obscene." A sophisticatedstory is a dirty story. Some of that meaning was wafted eastward and got itself mixed up into the present definition. So that a "sophisticate" means: one who dwells in a tower made of a DuPont substitute for ivory and holds a glass of flat champagne in one hand and an album of dirty post cards in the other."
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"Money is only congealed snow."
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"She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose."
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"Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies."
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