"Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys."
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Quote collection
Earl Wilson quotes (page 2 of 3)
41 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible."
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"Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty."
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"Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full."
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"There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay."
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"Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?"
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"The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election."
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"Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot."
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"Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents."
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"Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure."
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"No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it."
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"Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect."
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"A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance."
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"Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with."
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"Somebody figured it out- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments."
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"Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back"
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"He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone."
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"A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie."
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"He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code."
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"The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise."
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