"Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners."
"Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station."
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Source: Quoted in Evan Esar, The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations (1949)
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More quotes by Fred Allen
"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars."
"What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement."
"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."
"Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent."
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."