Funny Inspirational quotes
173 quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
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Browse quotes that often appear alongside funny inspirational — connected by shared ideas and recurring themes.
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"The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism."
"There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth."
"I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."
"I used to believe my father about everything but then I had children myself & now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy."
"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second."
"They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing."
"I'm stopped. I'll never eat another burger."
"Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, 'You gotta be in it to win it'... but first, you gotta have a dead end job so pathetic you're willing to kill five hours standing in line for a 1 in 25 million chance."
"People will buy anything that is one to a customer."
"You should just dump the whole saving the world plan and go with global domination. It's probably be more fun."
