"We know, on the authority of Moses, that longer than six thousand years the world did not exist."
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Humor quotes
Humor
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Humor quotes (page 63 of 192)
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"There is no rustic so rude but that, if he dreams or fancies anything, it must be the whisper of the Holy Ghost, and he himself a prophet."
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"God does not work salvation for fictitious sinners. Be a sinner and sin vigorously... Do not for a moment imagine that this life is the abiding place of justice; sin must be committed."
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"When I was a child there were many witches, and they bewitched both cattle and men, especially children."
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"The fact that the biblical book Hebrews is not an epistle of St Paul, or of any other apostle, is proved by what it says in chapter two."
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"Many sweat to reconcile St Paul and St James, but in vain. 'Faith justifies' and 'faith does not justify' contradict each other flatly. If any one can harmonize them I will give him my doctor's hood and let him call me a fool."
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"How often have not the demons called 'Nix,' drawn women and girls into the water, and there had commerce with them, with fearful consequences."
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"We should throw the Epistle of James out of this school."
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"At Poltersberg, there is a lake similarly cursed. If you throw a stone into it, a dreadful storm immediately arises, and the whole neighboring district quakes to its centre. 'Tis the devils kept prisoner there."
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"Our bodies are always exposed to Satan. The maladies I suffer are not natural, but Devil's spells."
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"Two devils rose from the water, and flew off through the air, crying, 'Oh, oh, oh!' and turning one over another, in sportive mockery."
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"I myself saw and touched at Dessay, a child of this sort, which had no human parents, but had proceeded from the Devil. He was twelve years old, and, in outward form, exactly resembled ordinary children."
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"The Devil...clutched hold of the miserable young man...and flew off with him through the ceiling, since which time nothing has been heard of him."
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"The Devil, it is true, is not exactly a doctor who has taken degrees, but he is very learned, very expert for all that. He has not been carrying on his business during thousands of years for nothing."
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"The Devil, too, sometimes steals human children; it is not infrequent for him to carry away infants within the first six weeks after birth, and to substitute in their place imps."
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"The winds are nothing else but good or bad spirits. Hark! how the Devil is puffing and blowing."
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"To be a Christian, you must pluck out the eye of reason."
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"I almost feel like throwing Jimmy into the stove, as the priest in Kulenberg did."
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"I maintain that some Jew wrote it who probably heard about Christian people but never encountered any."
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"Snakes and monkeys are subjected to the demon more than other animals. Satan lives in them and possesses them. He uses them to deceive men and to injure them."
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