"We know, on the authority of Moses, that longer than six thousand years the world did not exist."
Humor quotes
Humor
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Humor quotes (page 63 of 192)
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"There is no rustic so rude but that, if he dreams or fancies anything, it must be the whisper of the Holy Ghost, and he himself a prophet."
"God does not work salvation for fictitious sinners. Be a sinner and sin vigorously... Do not for a moment imagine that this life is the abiding place of justice; sin must be committed."
"When I was a child there were many witches, and they bewitched both cattle and men, especially children."
"The fact that the biblical book Hebrews is not an epistle of St Paul, or of any other apostle, is proved by what it says in chapter two."
"Many sweat to reconcile St Paul and St James, but in vain. 'Faith justifies' and 'faith does not justify' contradict each other flatly. If any one can harmonize them I will give him my doctor's hood and let him call me a fool."
"How often have not the demons called 'Nix,' drawn women and girls into the water, and there had commerce with them, with fearful consequences."
"We should throw the Epistle of James out of this school."
"At Poltersberg, there is a lake similarly cursed. If you throw a stone into it, a dreadful storm immediately arises, and the whole neighboring district quakes to its centre. 'Tis the devils kept prisoner there."
"Our bodies are always exposed to Satan. The maladies I suffer are not natural, but Devil's spells."
"Two devils rose from the water, and flew off through the air, crying, 'Oh, oh, oh!' and turning one over another, in sportive mockery."
"I myself saw and touched at Dessay, a child of this sort, which had no human parents, but had proceeded from the Devil. He was twelve years old, and, in outward form, exactly resembled ordinary children."
"The Devil...clutched hold of the miserable young man...and flew off with him through the ceiling, since which time nothing has been heard of him."
"The Devil, it is true, is not exactly a doctor who has taken degrees, but he is very learned, very expert for all that. He has not been carrying on his business during thousands of years for nothing."
"The Devil, too, sometimes steals human children; it is not infrequent for him to carry away infants within the first six weeks after birth, and to substitute in their place imps."
"The winds are nothing else but good or bad spirits. Hark! how the Devil is puffing and blowing."
"To be a Christian, you must pluck out the eye of reason."
"I almost feel like throwing Jimmy into the stove, as the priest in Kulenberg did."
"I maintain that some Jew wrote it who probably heard about Christian people but never encountered any."
"Snakes and monkeys are subjected to the demon more than other animals. Satan lives in them and possesses them. He uses them to deceive men and to injure them."