"I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples."
Read quote
9 likes
Quote collection
Jo Brand quotes (page 2 of 10)
193 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife."
Read quote
9 likes
"I swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13 I used to swim in the sea all the time; I loved it out of season and when it was rough."
Read quote
8 likes
"When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexic ward. I sometimes ate as many as seventeen dinners"
Read quote
8 likes
"A good culture in a hospital can absorb and manage a few bad nurses, but once the culture becomes bad in itself, bad nursing practice is much harder to hide."
Read quote
7 likes
"I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people up in as many ways as I can - if all else fails - I tell 'em a joke!"
Read quote
7 likes
"I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff."
Read quote
7 likes
"It's inevitable that if you do okay on something like that you don't just annoy people, that it will make a difference because it seemed like such a lot of people so, yes I would have to say that it has done."
Read quote
7 likes
"I have seen good nurses and bad nurses. They existed along a continuum: from hard-working, kind and competent people, to office-hugging, bone-idle types, to apathetic, disengaged automatons."
Read quote
7 likes
"When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment."
Read quote
7 likes
"I went on the pill when I was 16, put on four stone... so that proved to be a very effective contraceptive."
Read quote
7 likes
"I cannot abide anyone treating another human being like a piece of dirt, whatever the context."
Read quote
7 likes
"I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well."
Read quote
6 likes
"I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't."
Read quote
6 likes
"I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others."
Read quote
6 likes
"I thought I was funny as a kid. I used to play tricks on my brothers - I'd tie a two-shilling piece to a bit of cotton, then pull it away as they went to grab it."
Read quote
6 likes
"So, I kind of rather was hoping that people thought it would have a nice mixture of different topics and it also takes in the fact that I've had two children recently."
Read quote
6 likes
"By crying on my bed, drinking quite a lot and feeling tempted by drugs. Well, just not reading it to be perfectly honest with you. I know it's a bit of a copout."
Read quote
6 likes
"It's a video release as well so I have to be perfectly honest and go, probably not specifically for DVD, but there are extra bits on it that aren't on anything else, so as exciting as that sounds."
Read quote
6 likes
"Each generation has a backlash against the generation before."
Read quote
6 likes