"Do you know how hard it is to kill 30 million people? It's a logistical nightmare."
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John Oliver quotes (page 7 of 7)
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John Oliver
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"I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me."
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John Oliver
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"I was definitely prepared for it to be slower, and it has not worked out that way in any shape or form. I'm grateful as a comedian, and slightly demoralized, occasionally, as a human being - those two things are always very different."
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John Oliver
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"By any rational metric, I am boring."
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"Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built."
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