"Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke."
Jokes quotes
Jokes
294 quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
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Jokes quotes (page 1 of 15)
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"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."
"Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all."
"I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power."
"I can't stand not being able to joke around on set, so I have to."
"When you asked me how I was doing, was that some kind of joke"
"Anything where we're the butt of the joke, no one tells us about it."
"In Hollywood, it's hard to be funny, because all the big jokes are in Washington."
"Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right."
"We are not engaged in a complicated joke disguised as a religion. We are engaged in a religion disguised as a complicated joke."
"In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic."
"I start with the joke line and write backward."
"You shouldn't make jokes if it makes you so unhappy."
"...the Gods too love a joke."
"A joke a day keeps the gloom away!"
"Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny."
"Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it better than if I do."
"I love telling myself jokes. I think I'm a riot."
"I've been burn when it comes to my hair that it ain't no joke."
"You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job."
"Jokes are grievances."