"Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it better than if I do."
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Jokes quotes
Jokes
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Jokes quotes (page 2 of 15)
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"I love telling myself jokes. I think I'm a riot."
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"I've been burn when it comes to my hair that it ain't no joke."
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"You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job."
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"Jokes are grievances."
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"What joke can I say about Donald Trump that he hasn't said about himself? When he gets dressed, he comes out as Donald Trump. We've made fun of his hair for 30 years. It's still the same if not worse. There's nothing we could really say about him."
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"Clumsy jesting is no joke."
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"A German joke is no laughing matter."
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"A joke that works is complete knowledge in a nanosecond."
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"Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish."
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"America has got to learn to take a joke."
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"I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one some day."
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"There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke."
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"You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works."
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"I have been sober for the longest time. Oh, it's over a decade now. No joke."
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"After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding."
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"I don't do any jokes that old. I might have maybe one or two jokes from high school that I still do."
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"Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else."
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"I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made 'em up myself."
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"You never know when you'll have a bad idea for a worse joke."
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