Quote collection
38 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out."
"Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck."
"If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground."
"Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?""
"I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them."
"When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?"
"There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago."
"Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life's work."
"Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself."
"On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing."
"Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease."
"If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About a Quart Low."
"Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it."
"They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat."
"I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married."
"Spring time is the land awakening."
"If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes."
"Let's all start walking more and driving less."