"I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence."
About Lewis Grizzard
Lewis Grizzard was a prominent Southern humorist and writer whose work captured the essence of life in the South with a unique blend of wit and insight. His distinctive voice resonated through his columns and books, such as 'Don't Forget to Call Your Mother,' where he explored themes of family, love, and the quirks of Southern culture. Grizzard's humor often reflected a deep understanding of human nature, as seen in his quote, 'The only thing worse than a man who won't listen to his wife is a man who won't listen to his mother.' This statement not only showcases his comedic style but also reveals his appreciation for the complexities of relationships, particularly within families. His ability to address serious themes with levity made his work relatable and impactful. The relevance of Grizzard's quotes continues today, as they evoke laughter while prompting readers to reflect on their own lives. His candid observations about Southern life and human behavior challenge stereotypes and invite a deeper understanding of the cultural nuances that define the South.
Quote collection
38 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence."
"In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothes on and you're up to somethin'."
"It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato."
"There's no such thing as being too Southern."
"The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it."
""Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shift at Flagg-Utica." Flagg-Utica was a local textile plant. Somehow, I never could figure how failing to read three chapters in my geography book about the various sorts of vegetation to be found in a tropical rain forest had anything to do with facing a life as a mill hand. But with enough guilt and fear as catalysts, you can read anything, even geography books and Deuteronomy."
"The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity."
"Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing."
"Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different."
"It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month."
"You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'"
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
"Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."
"The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards."
"I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married."
"God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done."
"I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower."
"Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard."
"There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that."
"If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi"