“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 184 of 1263
“Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.”
“Of all the hokum with which this country [America] is riddled, the most odd is the common notion that it is free of class distinctions.”
“Alcohol is perfectly consistent in its effects upon man. Drunkenness is merely an exaggeration. A foolish man drunk becomes maudlin; a bloody man, vicious; a coarse man, vulgar.”
“It’s an accepted fact that all writers are crazy, even the normal ones are weird.”
“Democracy means that if the doorbell rings in the early hours, it is likely to be the milkman.”
“Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.”
“If Freud had worn a kilt in the prescribed Highland manner he might have had a very different attitude to genitals.”
“Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.”
“Humor is the foundation of reconciliation.”
“A day will come when a cannon will be exhibited in museums, just as instruments of torture are now, and the people will be astonished that such a thing could have been.”
“There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer?”
“You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away.”
“"I'm sorry, I just got carried away," hissed Aziraphale.”
“Modern man believes he is fruitful and productive when his ego is aggressively affirmed, when he is visibly active, and when his action produces obvious results.”
“The Gucci woman - you know what she’s after. The Saint Laurent woman - she’s going to torture you a little bit. You might have sex, but she will drip a little hot wax on you first.”
“In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said ‘looks like we’re a couple of peeing Toms.’ His angry silence is something I’ll never forget.”
“The world is a wonderfully weird place, consensual reality is significantly flawed, no institution can be trusted, certainty is a mirage, security a delusion, and the tyranny of the dull mind forever threatens -- but our lives are not as limited as we think they are, all things are possible, laughter is holier than piety, freedom is sweeter than fame, and in the end it's love and love alone that really matters.”
“Come down off the cross, we could use the wood.”
“The most dangerous thing in the world is to make a friend of an Englishman, because he'll come sleep in your closet rather than spend 10 shillings on a hotel.”