“Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 183 of 1263
“I was playing a part of someone dealing dope on a street corner - and there was a guy actually dealing heroin right there. I looked at him, he looked at me, and I got real confused.”
“He asked, "What makes a man a writer?" "Well," I said, "it's simple. You either get it down on paper, or jump off a bridge.”
“It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.”
“If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.”
“The less you can afford for your frocks, the more care you must take with your accessories”
“Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning.”
“If you don't have fun, you don't have a show.”
“Don't Ask Me Nothing About Nothing, I Just Might Tell You the Truth”
“The only reason I wouldn't go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.”
“If you can't live it down, might as well live it up.”
“France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.”
“I never said half the crap people said I did.”
“I have become rather like King Midas, except that everything turns not into gold but into a circus.”
“It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.”
“Cleanliness is next to fordliness.”
“One must never set up a murder. They must happen unexpectedly, as in life.”
“I live by three rules: I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired and scratch when I itch.”
“Oh, we've had our share of hotels bein' smashed and all, but that was a long time ago. You get lousy room service... I mean, there's no use throwin' a TV set out the window for the sake of throwin' a TV set out the window. But if you get a lousy picture then you have an excuse”
“A lot of people say, 'AC/DC - that's the band with the little guy who runs around in school shorts!'”