"Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding."
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Quote collection
Scott Adams quotes (page 13 of 14)
267 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed."
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"Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap your partner in the face, Write bad checks all over the place, Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, Get a divorce and lose your house, ...uh... dosey-do."
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"I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff."
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"Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there"
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"Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier."
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"I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life."
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"I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw."
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"I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg."
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"I should have written that down. - Dilbert"
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"In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car."
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"Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night."
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"I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else."
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"Home is pretty utopian."
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"It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism."
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"These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping. It would be a real letdown if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print."
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"He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival."
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"You might argue that my example is bad because Einstein is dead. But according to physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Einstein is neither dead nor alive until we dig him up and open the casket. If he's alive, he might want his brain back, which I understand is in a Ziplock bag in some guy's freezer. And this is a perfect example of why examples always distract from the main point."
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"The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation."
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"As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material."
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