Quote collection
339 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"When people ask me, ‘how do you make it in show business,’ or whatever, what I always tell them — and nobody ever takes note of it ‘cuz it’s not the answer they wanted to hear…but I always say, ‘Be so good they can’t ignore you.’"
"I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management."
"Comedy makes you humble. Because there are so many opportunities to miss, and strike out."
"He gave her his phone number, in a peculiar reversal of dating procedure. She might have considered kissing him, even after the horrible first date, but he just didn’t seem to know what to do. However, Jeremy does have one outstanding quality. He likes her. And this quality in a person makes them infinitely interesting to the person who is being liked."
"I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct."
"Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey"
"His view of the world is one that keeps his blood pressure low, sweeping the cholesterol from his relaxed, freeway-sized arteries. Everyone knows he is going to live till age ninety, although the question that goes begging is, “for what?"
"He never complicates a desire by overthinking it, unlike Mirabelle, who spins a cocoon around an idea until it is immobile."
"I knew I could only play Cyrano if he were Americanized. I had no intention of writing the script myself. I was afraid of it. You're playing with fire when you tamper with a classic. So I went looking for a writer. But it was such a personal idea, and anyone I would give it to would make it his own. It's hard to ask Neil Simon to write your idea."
"The streets of L.A. undulate over short hills as though a finger is poking the landscape from underneath ... laid over this crosshatch are streets meandering on the diagonal creating a multitude of ways to get from one place to another by traveling along the hypotenuse. These are the avenues of the tryst which enable Acting Student A to travel the eighteen miles across town to Acting Student B's garage apartment in nine minutes flat after a hot-blooded phone call at midnight."
"No art comes from the conscious mind."
"There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them."
"I just gave my cat a bath. Now how do I get all this fur off my tounge?"
"Teaching is, after all, a form of show business."
"You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do."
"The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart?"
"Home to me is when someone comes up to me and says, "Can I get a selfie?" No. It's where your wife and your family are. It's the emotional place where you feel like you're not away from it."
"I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart."
"If you feel tired midway through, give Neil Patrick Harris a Red Bull and throw some sheet music at him."
"If I screw up raising my kids, nothing I achieve will matter much."