"I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile."
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Quote collection
Steven Wright quotes (page 27 of 27)
529 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person."
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"I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank.""
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"Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle."
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"Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick"
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"I washed mud off of mud."
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"I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>"
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"Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."
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"One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him."
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