J. K. Rowling
Novelist, Screenwriter
"Montague's just been found in a toilet, Sir."
Toilets quotes
Toilets
141 quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
J. K. Rowling
Novelist, Screenwriter
"We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!"
T. S. Eliot
Poet, Playwright
"My name is only an anagram of toilets."
Ramana Maharshi
Spiritual Teacher
"Eating, bathing, going to the toilet, talking, thinking, and many other activities related to the body are all work. How is it that the performance of one particular act is alone (considered) work? To be still is to be always engaged in work. To be silent is to be always talking."
Woody Allen
Director, Actor, Writer
"Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come."
Explore further
Topics related to Toilets
Browse quotes that often appear alongside toilets — connected by shared ideas and recurring themes.
Quote collection
Toilets quotes (page 1 of 8)
Follow a thought to its author, or read the full quote page.
"The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely."
Read quote
14 likes
"She used my toothbrush to clean the toilet."
Read quote
11 likes
"Well, I've thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seriously consider getting another job, I don't know what I'd do."
Read quote
10 likes
"New York, like London, seems to be a cloacina [toilet] of all the depravities of human nature."
Read quote
8 likes
"I wrote my first book in a toilet in a factory where I was a floor sweeper."
Read quote
8 likes
"When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet."
Read quote
7 likes
"Getting fired can produce a particularly bountiful payday for a CEO. Indeed, he can 'earn' more in that single day, while cleaning out his desk, than an American worker earns in a lifetime of cleaning toilets. Forget the old maxim about nothing succeeding like success: Today, in the executive suite, the all-too-prevalent rule is that nothing succeeds like failure."
Read quote
7 likes
"Public toilets have a duty to be accessible, poetry does not."
Read quote
7 likes
"As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne."
Read quote
6 likes
"Not to go to the theater is like making one's toilet without a mirror."
Read quote
6 likes
"Are you really going to let a toilet stand in the way of you and financial independence?"
Read quote
6 likes
"Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat."
Read quote
6 likes
"If we all had all we wanted to eat, we'd crap too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry."
Read quote
6 likes
"I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die."
Read quote
5 likes
"The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes..."
Read quote
5 likes
"When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back"
Read quote
5 likes
"And I have this little litany of things they can do. And the first one, of course, is to write - every day, no excuses. It's so easy to make excuses. Even professional writers have days when they'd rather clean the toilet than do the writing."
Read quote
5 likes
"All my good reading, you might say, was done in the toilet."
Read quote
5 likes
"I'd rather clean my toilet than go to a show-business party."
Read quote
4 likes
"When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'"
Read quote
3 likes