"How often, when we have been nearest each other bodily, have we really been farthest off! Our tongues were the witty foils with which we fenced each other off."
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Witty quotes
Witty
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Witty quotes (page 29 of 71)
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"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married."
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"One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty."
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"There are some men who are witty when they are in a bad humor, and others only when they are sad."
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"In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead."
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"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment."
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"Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka."
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"The heart wants what it wants."
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"A witty statesman said, you might prove anything by figures."
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"My childhood was lonely. Both my parents were away a lot, working, and the maid basically raised me. And I think that's where a lot of my comedy comes from. Not only was the maid very funny and witty, but when my mother came home I'd use humour to try and get her attention. If I made mommy laugh, then maybe everything would be all right. I think that's where it [my comedy] all started."
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"Years ago someone wrote [about me]: 'She characterizes Molly Weasley as a mother who is only at home looking after the children.' I was deeply offended, because I until a year before that had also been such a mother who was at home all the time taking care of her child [...] What has lesser status and is more difficult than raising a child? And what is more important?"
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"Hemingway was a jerk."
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"There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem."
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"There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it."
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"When the political columnists say 'Every thinking man' they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to 'Every intelligent voter' they mean everybody who is going to vote for them"
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"Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor."
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"R.G. Belsky's thought-provoking thriller, The Kennedy Connection, introduces us to a smart, witty, and human hero whose quest to find answers about two crimes - one famous, one all but unnoticed - is loaded with tension and full of unexpected twists and turns. I loved The Kennedy Connection, and can't wait for the next Gil Malloy novel."
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"I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter."
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"The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists?"
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"Many get the repute of being witty but thereby lose the credit of being sensible. Jest has its little hour, seriousness should have all the rest."
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