"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there."
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Witty quotes
Witty
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Witty quotes (page 27 of 71)
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"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."
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"If I am not worth the wooing, I surely am not worth the winning!"
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"By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean."
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"The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter."
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"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights"
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"Tell the truth and you won't have so much to remember"
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"The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars."
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"I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me."
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"Your wit makes others witty."
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"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
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"Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honorable discharge."
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"You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet."
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"There are three estates in Parliament but in the Reporters' Gallery yonder there sits a Fourth Estate more important far than they all. It is not a figure of speech or witty saying, it is a literal fact, very momentous to us in these times."
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"I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men."
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"Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves."
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"The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative."
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"Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right."
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"I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable."
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"This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs."
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